Story Time

     Okay, yesterday the government in Nepal raised the price of petro Rs 4, only two weeks after dropping the price by Rs 3. They had dropped the price in reaction to student protests about a previous price hike. Reading about this in The Himalayan Times yesterday I was equal parts amused and saddened to read successive paragraphs that went something like this - Student leaders were told about the price hike and have agreed not to protest. Student leaders were not told about the price hike and are now planning massive protests. This is how Nepal "works", and this is how the government works. The govt already loses money each year on the import of kerosene, diesel, and petro. Raising and lowering the price of these essentials is not going to fix the deficit, as it is in the billions of rupees. Clearly, I am not an economist, but I do like to read economists in order to try to understand the world better, because let's face it- if there's a problem somewhere, just follow the money trail and you will almost always find the answer. (the other answer is religion, but let's not go there right now)
     I recently read an interesting piece about how modern style dams, built by foreigners and with foreign aid, actually do more harm than good, but older Nepali style water systems somehow work better. The reason is that in order to maintain the older systems, farmers down stream needed help from the farmers up stream in order to maintain the equipment. In return, the farmers downstream would basically subsidize the upstream farmers for their efforts. With modern equipment, there was no need to maintain it, and so the subsidies stopped and the upstream farmers gained nothing. It's a fairly simple case of modern technology upsetting what was a decent balance between towns.

Maoist combatants

     After winning The Peoples War, the Maoists basically control the government in Nepal. Sure, there is the NPC, and some other factions, but the prime minister and nearly 2/3 of the government is from the Maoist camp. Here is how they operate. A big part writing the constitution (which was supposed to be completed about 6 months ago, but is nowhere close) deals with integration of the Maoist army into the Nepali army, and payouts to those who chose to retire. Basically, the Maoists wanted to be integrated at their current rank, while the Nepali army wanted them to pass certain tests in order to assure that rank. Well, this didn't sit well with the Maoists, as many of them are uneducated, or at least not to the standard that would allow them to become Captain or Generals. So there were a lot of bandhs, and eventually a payment system was worked out and integration details were "agreed" upon. (in quotes because nothing is ever really agreed upon, as you will see) As the settlement checks started to come in, former fighters, many of the retirees were women, lined up to accept payment. But there was a hitch - the Maoists in charge of the army were demanding 50% of the payment as payment for negotiating the deal. This didn't sit well with the combatants, and they organized their own bandhs in order to protest this bit of robbery. In fact, they stopped lining up for their checks altogether, and basically refused to retire. I think this is where we stand today.

Smoked that drive

     What in the world does this have to do with golf, with your hero, and with this blog? After negotiating the Faldo Series contract, which as the President of HYGA put it "would be one million times bigger than anything that has ever happened to golf in Nepal", it is sitting at Gokarna Forest Resort, stalled and waiting for one simple signature. I am not exactly sure why it hasn't been signed, but I have some ideas. The first is that it wasn't their idea. I think they would feel slighted because they didn't come up with it. Despite the fact that they would get international recognition, would make money from souvenir sales and lodging, and would push golf forward in a gigantic way, ego is somehow an issue here. The second issue is that everyone in Nepal is an expert. It doesn't matter if you are a dentist, or a laborer - your ideas and thoughts must be heard heard relating to golf. And there is no shortage of people who believe they are experts, and they form committees, and these committees sit around and argue and talk and eventually do nothing.
     Maybe this thing will happen, maybe all the work I have put in to getting it done will amount to something. I want this to happen, not for me, but for the kids here, and for the golf pros in this country. They are some of my best friends, and this would be huge for them as well. They deserve some recognition of what they have done for golf in Nepal, and this is a chance at that.
     Not to be a downer, but I am constantly reminded of what Leonard Cohen once said when being identified as a pessimist, "A pessimist is someone who is waiting for it to rain. I am already soaked to the bone."

Don't read this if you can't take a joke. Or do, whatever....

     Okay...as my departure date becomes closer, I am wrapping up at least a couple of the things I set out to create here in Kathmandu. On March 3rd, RNGC, the NGA, and HYGA will host the first tournament of what should be a continuous Nepal Junior Tour. However, I'm still waiting for Gokarna Forest Resort to sign the contract the The Faldo Series and I have worked out. It's important for them do this in a timely manner, as I have managed to get one of our juniors invited to the FSA championship on March 16th, should we complete the agreement. I was also invited to meet Nick Faldo himself and announce the tournament to the international press. Sadly, I don't have the funds to make the trip back to China to do this. It's entirely bitter, but the whole point is getting golf to grow in Nepal, right? Right? Well, even that won't happen if the contract doesn't get signed. Why wouldn't they sign this?, you may ask. Well, there's no reason besides ego and pettiness and bickering. These three things could derail the entire thing. If this happens, I would really have to question coming back to Nepal for anything to do with golf. For now, please think some good thoughts, and let's hope we can get this done. It's soooooo close, I can see it....
     Now it's time to complain about some shit....This is some of the worst advice I have ever read.  It is supposed to be travel advice, but what it really is, is an insult to the people of any country you're visiting. The first thing it says is to wear clothes that make you blend in. Here's the thing - you're not going to blend in unless you have been living in the country for at least a year and can speak the language fluently. Wearing native clothes makes you look like an asshole. Another thing this "article" suggests is to wear make-up that makes you look darker. read that again out loud and see if it passes the common sense test. The indigenous people already know you're a tourist from 50 yards away, just own it and be polite and stay alert is all you can really do. Also, take language lessons and make some local friends. That's it. That's the big secret to getting along well in a foreign country.
     I think what set me off on that little paragraph is seeing idiots (foreigners) walking around in sandals in streets that could give you five or six diseases from simply touching them. Then they put on the local clothing and become easy marks for anyone who would like to charge the highest possible price for goods. Next.....
     English people mainly suck. I know they're our best ally and everything, but enough with the pretending to be polite, and then acting quite the opposite. Nobody gives a shit that you're English. You're no more special than anyone else. Pastier, yes. Shittier food, yes. And louder, YES. but you're definitely not anything great. I'm pumped we beat your ass down. Is it the Fourth of July, yet? It's my new favorite Holiday. Here's another big secret revealed - English people want you to think they're smarter than you because they have an accent. Well, they're not. I've become friends with people form Bangladesh, Australia, Nepal (obviously), South Africa, India, and Ireland on this trip. Yet there are a ton of English tourists. You should here them talk at any "pub" they manage to find. Think in an English accent for a moment...
"Oh, you're from Yorkshire, then? Which part?"
"Southern, mainly, that's where the culture is, wouldn't be caught dead anywhere else."
"I've heard that. Shame, really about the rest of the area. How much is a flat there?"
"Don't know, me mum pays for it. I need it for university, mainly and then I'll move to London and live properly."
Now think of my voice, inside my head, "SHUT THE F*CK UP BEFORE I LIGHT YOU ON FIRE"
     That was all unwarranted and I'm sorry it wasn't said sooner. Now on to some pictures of kids enjoying golf in the sun.....

They lined up from tallest to shortest for no reason.

I swear I will get these kids to flip clubs before I'm done.

I remember when golf was fun. It looks like this.

 
     
     

a brief time out to think

     Okay, as I sit here thinking back on the last 10 months of my life, which has included preparing for and subsequently traveling to Nepal, I am trying to prepare myself for the most inevitable question when I return- "Well, how was it?" Where do I even start in answering that question. For a while I thought of answering with "Have you ever been to Cleveland?", and then walking away. This would leave the interviewer shaking his head and wondering what the hell just happened. Which is exactly how I am feeling right now. I wish I could sum this whole thing up in a neat, tidy sentence or even paragraph. It would be easier for me, for everyone in my life, and for this blog.
     As my time here winds down I am more and more aware that I don't know how to answer the big how was it? question. It has been equal parts terrifying, beautiful, heartbreaking, painful, exciting, fun, and overwhelming. I don't know that I've become  a better person, or that I have some new understanding of human nature. I'm still a selfish, snarky dude who thinks people are mostly awful but pretend to be otherwise when there is something to be gained. I said most. I do like the idea that character is what you do when no one is watching. I don't subscribe to that line of thinking in order to not incriminate myself, but I like the idea.

Two layers of Kathmandu.

     Do you see what happens to my brain when I take playing golf out of the equation? Man, I gotta go hit some balls......

Nuts And Bolts And Fish Heads Between Friends

     Okay, I was all set to write a seething, unpleasant blog post a couple of days ago, and had about three pages of venom all edited and evil and ready to post. I was upset with the Nepal Golf Association, with being back in Kathmandu, and just wanted to take a hot shower. I was told thought I was told that the NGA would no longer be able to pay for the housing for HYGA professionals.

I like this kids swagger

This was on the heels of being told that I couldn't use any of the sponsors that we had lined up for the junior tour, despite being willing to actually buy the tee times. Why, I asked, couldn't we use the sponsors? The problem is, according to some people in charge of golf in this country, that it would make us all look bad if we ahd to use multiple sponsors. Basically they would lose face somehow. Clearly this is different than America, where if someone is willing to even toss in ten cents to help sponsor an event, we'll take that shit with a smile and not think twice. So I swallowed that bitter pill, and we eventually came to an agreement that I could use the sponsors, but it had to be a maximum of one sponsor per tournament. Is this boring you yet? No? Okay then.....
     I had a meeting with the head of the NGA just this morning to clarify everything, especially the not being able to house the pro thing. The real problem with this is not the money, as HYGA could afford to pay, but it's that this needs to be a partnership, with both groups working together, not a one way street. I was told that I misunderstood what I was told. Got that? I won't go into all of the details of the meeting, but it was mostly polite, sometimes volatile, and ended up in a good way, with a clearer understanding on both sides regarding communication and follow through.

Kathmandu marathon. Those aren't vehicles helping the runners. It's just traffic!

     Next order of business- The Faldo Series Tournament. After quite a few emails with Tom Phillips, the CEO of Faldo Series in Asia, and some meetings with NGA people, I have brokered a contract that has Faldo waiving the $5000  ($10000 total) sanctioning fee for the next two years, as well as getting Gokarna to waive the normal $1000 competition fee in order to bring a truly international tournament to Nepal with players from Bangladesh, Nepal, Bhutan, and Northern India. All that's left is to get all three parties to sign the contract. If I can at least accomplish this before I go, it would be a giant success for this country.

You know you can't get enough of this mug.

     Sorry for the nuts and bolts type of post this time - next one to include a festival where all Hindus are allowed to smoke hash without penalty for an entire day, babies lying naked on the side of the road, and the three hour walk I took around Kamaladi trying to find a miniscule airline office that was closed due to a Buddhist holiday.

I never want to see this bathroom again. Neither do you, I'm sure. And I know Becks has no interest, with the amount of time he spent in it!

Left to right - Deepak, Ramesh, your hero, Pashupati holding a fish head, and Sachin

Okay, I don't really know how to begin this posting. There is a ton of information that I would love to share, but probably shouldn't at this moment. Nick Becks is boarding his flight home as I type this, and having him here was great. It was nice to be able to use English freely for a while, and even better to be able to see some cool spots with a good friend. But that's over and now it's back to (semi) reality. This new reality includes me being a bit homesick. I was definitely jealous when he was talking about taking a nice hot shower, washing his clothes in a washing machine, and being able to cook for himself. I cannot wait to get to a supermarket when I get back. I can't wait to be overwhelmed with the choices of food and the cleanliness and coldness of American society.
For now I am back to plugging away on the junior tour, the Faldo Series, and working things out in Pokhara. I believe I will be moving a different direction, as the Fulbari course needs more financial attention than the HYGA can give it at this point. It is a gorgeous design, with a number of holes that require a carry over a 400 foot cliff, but it's also that cliff that prevents a junior academy from really being safe. So, it's on to the driving range and the Himalayan course. I hope to manage the driving range, while bringing in a different school each week, and at the end of each month host a tournament at the Himalayan Course. If I can get the schools to form some rivalries it would give these kids a real taste of competition as well as prepare them for tournaments outside of the country.
This is one moment where I wish I could just write whatever is on my mind, and not hold back Everything should work out eventually.

This is where I want to be, beating Steve at Dominos and having a beverage on my porch.

Liberia and Elephants

 Okay, I can't remember when the last post ended, but let's begin with the descent from Pokhara to the flat lands of the Terai region of Nepal, specifically Chitwan, and more specifically Sauraha. We made the unfortunate mistake of trying to book a bus ticket to Chitwan only three days before we wanted to leave. that would have been fine if we wanted to take a really questionable bus that costs only 500 rupees. We wanted to take the Greenline bus, which cost twenty dollars, had air conditioning, offered a free lunch, and was generally used by tourists only. No shot. You see, that bus had no seats left, so we had two options. Take a really questionable bus ride and save a few dollars but in the process risk falling off a cliff or running into another vehicle, or bargain for a private car, We chose the latter and ended up paying $85 for a car to Chitwan. This was clearly a mistake. It wasn't the comfort that we wanted to pay the extra amount for, it was the not dying part that intrigued us. Our driver showed up at the hotel about fifteen minutes early and proceeded to berate me for not being at any of the hotels he had just visited. The receipt I kept from two days prior clearly said Garden Hotel, but there is NEVER any point in explaining minutia like this, so I got into the front seat and Nick jumped into the back.....This guy was the biggest ASSHOLE driver I have ever seen. I have been here for four months now, and have seen some pretty crazy driving. Nothing has prepared me for this guys Modus Operandi. It went something like this - drive like Bo 'Bandit' Darville as long there are cars, people or buses around us, then- when there's a tiny incline, slam on the brakes and try to promote whiplash as much as possible. This guy would rather have killed all of us than damaged the undercoating on a Kia. From India. We made it there in three hours, which is an hour faster than the gentleman at the Greenline station predicted via private car. Then, the hotel that we booked, just in case none were available, was a complete disaster. We were greeted with " No rooms."
I said, "Well, we booked online and this is our confirmation number." 
He said, "Oh yeah, we have room for you."
We were led to what looked like a dungeon on the second floor. It had blue and moldy walls, the bathroom hadn't been used in months, if ever, and the beds were like rock. I'm not even talking about by western standards. I'm pretty sure Liberians would be disgusted with this place.  We dropped our bags, locked the putrid door behind us and started walking into town. About 500 yards into the walk, we spotted a hotel and decided to go see what the rates were and what the rooms looked like. A very nice man led us to a room that featured laminate floors and hot water for about 50% less than the other hotel, which featured concrete and a smell of defeat. We grabbed our bags from the other room, I left my yak wool blanket on accident, and we relocated to a room that was at least liveable for a couple days. We then went to the river bank and had a beer while watching the sun go down over Nepal.
Next Day......We arranged an elephant ride and were to be at the ticket place before 8:30. Well, we made it to a ticket place around 8 am. Although it wasn't the right spot, our guy showed up around 8:30 on a motorcycle, instructing us to both get on. Have you ever ridden three kilometers on the back of a motorcycle with two other full grown males on board? Well I have now, and it sucked, but we made it to the elephant boarding area and were promptly escorted to the tallest, most agro elephant of the herd. Questionable start.... but I am done typing for now and will fill in the blanks later. We are currently back in KTM, and enjoying some wine and decent food.....stay tuned, Bat Fans!

Sunset over the Rapti River, first night in Sauhara

I found out the reason these aren't in chronological order - laziness!

Main Street

After we blew by a truck carrying what looked liked caged up people

We had a hotel in front of where the elephants bath after safaris.

Beginning of the jungle, there are a bunch of crocs, at least

Tree of life? What is that anyway?

Jungle

Me and Becks on the top of an elephant.

Our extremely tall elephant for the day

Pretty safari looking, huh?

Taxi, anyone?

Diseased croc that was in the breeding ground. Next post - It's all BS!

Stupas, Joss Stone, and Pro Scootering

Okay, let's begin with discussing the trip out of Kathmandu. It was amazing to finally get out of the city, it can get on top of you pretty quickly and it's nice to get out of the valley to get a better perspective. While we were discussing which type of music best went with the Kathmandu vibe Nick offered up classic rock and it definitely fits. I mean, that is if you are not into Hindi or Nepali music. I can take both in limited doses, but I think I'll be sticking to Hendrix and some Rolling Stones for a while. I had been on a Joss Stone kick, but it really doesn't fit in with what's happening over here. Anyway, we woke up at around 6am to catch a cab to the bus park and I managed to secure us some tea while we waited for them to load the bus. Soon enough we were on the way out of one valley and into another. The bus ride was mainly uneventful, save for one bus in a ditch on the side of the road that cause a number of delays. It looked like the bus hit pretty hard judging by the broken out windows and damaged tires. For a moment it made me question the decision to keep going everywhere by bus, but I really have no choice. We arrived in Pokhara around 3 o'clock and made our way to the garden hotel, deposited our dirty laundry, unpacked our bags and set out to lakeside where we ate some snacks and had a couple of beers while watching the sun go down over Lake Phewa.

We have done a bunch of riding scooters all over this valley, from Sarangkot to Fulbari, and have yet to meet with any real trouble, although Nick's scooter sucks going up hills, which is an issue when we are doing some off-road scootering. We're pretty much professional scooter riders at this point after dodging cows, buses, people, and tractors while on the "highway". I'll get into more detail about the contracts and tournaments I'm working on in another post, but things are progressing. No for the easy way out, picture time......

Becks getting a clean shave, within minutes there were a bunch of Japanese tourists taking pictures. Our barber told them it'd be $20 per picture.

View from halfway up to Sarangkot

Feeling good

Looking pretty awesome

Put a good swing on this one at a new hole on The Himalayan Course. Too much club though, and it ended up over the green

Smoked this drive down the right side of the fairway with a little draw.

Pretty sweet.

Ditto

One of the off road paths that we managed to navigate successfully

Check out the barbed wire around the green

View from the 16th at The Himalayan. If you get a strong gust of wind and are off balance, it may be your last golf shot.

Fulbari Hotel garden area

On our way to the World Peace Stupa

Before the Nazis ruined swastikas, they were a peaceful symbol.

Devils Fall, Pokhara. I tried to take some pictures of the cave, but being a cave, the pictures were too dark.

World Peace Stupa.

Mero Saathiko Naam Nick Becks Ho and A Pictorial Extravaganza

Okay, let's start with the pre-arrival of Nick Becks. While me and a couple of friends, who shall remain nameless for reasons forthcoming, were waiting for Mr. Becks at the Tribhuvan International Airport we experienced a power outage that consumed the entire airport and lasted nearly 20 minutes. Keep in mind, it was about 11:30 pm when the power went out so the entire place was pitch black. As I would find out later, Nick was luckily already on the ground and waiting in the customs line when the lights went out. A perfect beginning to any stay in Nepal should begin with a power outage followed by an intense thunderstorm. Once Nick made it out of the airport, it began raining heavily and the lightning wasn't far behind. PERFECT! I have never been so happy to see a friend as I was at that point. Anyways, it rained for most of the next day but we didn't allow that to stop us from going to Bhaktapur and Thamel. The following day we went to Patan, Swayambhunath Temple, and even fit in nine holes of golf, where Nick was only a few inches from a hole-in-one and I was a few seconds from quitting golf. During the round of golf we came upon a crowd of people on the course. There is a portion of the course next to these back to back par three's where the jungle and a dirt road converge and there is an opening in the fence, so people routinely use the path as a shortcut to wherever it is people go. (I'm not the Lonely Planet guide, people.) Apparently a couple of punks had thrown a brick at a young woman's head and hit it squarely. They promptly robbed her of everything that was in her purse as well as her brand new mobile phone. One of the golf pros broke his club while chasing them after them, and I'm not sure if he was able to do any damage to the criminal, but I'm assuming he did as the club was broken right at the base of the shaft. It's a smallish community near the golf course, not in terms of number of people, but in terms of actual community where everyone knows everyone else's business. At this point, one kid had been arrested, and the girl was taken to the hospital after passing out. Now onto the pictures.....

I believe this guy has something to do with good luck and healthy eating. Or it's a pig with dried rice stuck in it's mouth

Rainy day, but still some cool things

I HATE the rain and cold, can you tell?

It was so rainy that we had to use these rocks to get to the bus ticket office

I do love Patan Durbar Square. Favorite place in KTM

A thousand words?

Look at the thing on the thing. Like I said, I'm not a writer for Lonely Planet

Nick Becks at a Buddhist temple

Ring my bell

Sometimes you just have to look in the right places to see something cool

This was day two of a festival for women involving marriages or blessing of marriages

Sweet

This probably has some meaning

Women would get a bunch of stuff blessed and then torch it.

Large Stupa at the "monkey temple"

Nick Becks and some tourist next to her

Witko looks angry, but it's my natural look.

In case you think about hopping a wall, think again.

This woman carries rocks on her back for most of the day. How's your job?

Kathmandu looks so nice from afar. It's like a butter face.

 So next we go to Pokhara, then to Chitwan to ride elephants into the jungle looking for tigers. More to come, folks.....