Okay, why in the world would you ever play golf, let alone read a blog about golf? Well the second part is easy to answer. By reading my blog you feel can feel safe and secure while I battle through non-drinking related blackouts, typhoid shots, and taxi drivers from hell. It probably makes you feel good to say, "Hey I know some crazy dude who is in Nepal teaching golf and creating a junior golf empire." Plus, as you must admit, I am a fantastic writer (please tell Grantland.com how great I am). And then you can go back to your business of raising kids, cleaning up dog shit and whatever else it is my friends do.
The first part of the question is what really deserves some digging.
Why play golf? I wish I could make an argument for it. I wish I could claim it builds character and fosters honesty among friends. I wish I could say it has some type of redeeming quality that sets it apart from other sports, that it has a history so rich that it can't be ignored among the giants of the world. Well, it doesn't. Have. Any. Of. This. It's history includes discrimination, deceit and gambling to the point of homelessness. What it has is power hungry lunatics, liars and cheats who will kick their ball out from the woods the minute you go to light a cigarette, and alcoholics who will drain a bottle of gin before you can even make a
decent martini.
Now is the part where I reverse course, highlight all the good things that have occurred because of golf, and basically discredit myself in the process, right? Wrong. These alcoholics, gamblers, and power hungry people are who make up my list of friends. They are the ones who stand by be me when I need it, and at the same time they are the ones who would cheat me out of a dollar just to see if they could. I don't know why I stay in golf. I think it's because I'm in so deep (I'm in Kathmandu running golf clinics, for the the love of god) I can't get out. I'm like a gambler who thinks his next bet will hit, or an drug addict who is positive heroin is doing something good for him. I'm so utterly involved in golf that last night I had a dream involving me hitting my wallet out of a bunker. The wallet hit me and as I looked up to see if anyone saw the infraction Greg Norman was sitting there, legs crossed telling me that it wasn't even a penalty. Go ahead try to understand that. I can't quit golf. I want to, I really do. Somebody help, it's ruining lives.......Now for the pictures of kids learning this magnificent game...
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| It's a 7 mile walk the kids must complete before the martinis are distributed |
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| I had 13000 rupees on this shot making the green. On a side note, can I borrow 13000 rupees |
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| Adding up scores and deciding who buys drinks |
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| "Mark me down for a 3" |
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| Future industry leader |
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