holycowgolf: Liberia and Elephants

Okay, I can't remember when the last post ended, but let's begin with the descent from Pokhara to the flat lands of the Terai region of Nepal, specifically Chitwan, and more specifically Sauraha. We made the unfortunate mistake of trying to book a bus ticket to Chitwan only three days before we wanted to leave. that would have been fine if we wanted to take a really questionable bus that costs only 500 rupees. We wanted to take the Greenline bus, which cost twenty dollars, had air conditioning, offered a free lunch, and was generally used by tourists only. No shot. You see, that bus had no seats left, so we had two options. Take a really questionable bus ride and save a few dollars but in the process risk falling off a cliff or running into another vehicle, or bargain for a private car, We chose the latter and ended up paying $85 for a car to Chitwan. This was clearly a mistake. It wasn't the comfort that we wanted to pay the extra amount for, it was the not dying part that intrigued us. Our driver showed up at the hotel about fifteen minutes early and proceeded to berate me for not being at any of the hotels he had just visited. The receipt I kept from two days prior clearly said Garden Hotel, but there is NEVER any point in explaining minutia like this, so I got into the front seat and Nick jumped into the back.....This guy was the biggest ASSHOLE driver I have ever seen. I have been here for four months now, and have seen some pretty crazy driving. Nothing has prepared me for this guys Modus Operandi. It went something like this - drive like Bo 'Bandit' Darville as long there are cars, people or buses around us, then- when there's a tiny incline, slam on the brakes and try to promote whiplash as much as possible. This guy would rather have killed all of us than damaged the undercoating on a Kia. From India. We made it there in three hours, which is an hour faster than the gentleman at the Greenline station predicted via private car. Then, the hotel that we booked, just in case none were available, was a complete disaster. We were greeted with " No rooms."
I said, "Well, we booked online and this is our confirmation number."
He said, "Oh yeah, we have room for you."
We were led to what looked like a dungeon on the second floor. It had blue and moldy walls, the bathroom hadn't been used in months, if ever, and the beds were like rock. I'm not even talking about by western standards. I'm pretty sure Liberians would be disgusted with this place. We dropped our bags, locked the putrid door behind us and started walking into town. About 500 yards into the walk, we spotted a hotel and decided to go see what the rates were and what the rooms looked like. A very nice man led us to a room that featured laminate floors and hot water for about 50% less than the other hotel, which featured concrete and a smell of defeat. We grabbed our bags from the other room, I left my yak wool blanket on accident, and we relocated to a room that was at least liveable for a couple days. We then went to the river bank and had a beer while watching the sun go down over Nepal.
Next Day......We arranged an elephant ride and were to be at the ticket place before 8:30. Well, we made it to a ticket place around 8 am. Although it wasn't the right spot, our guy showed up around 8:30 on a motorcycle, instructing us to both get on. Have you ever ridden three kilometers on the back of a motorcycle with two other full grown males on board? Well I have now, and it sucked, but we made it to the elephant boarding area and were promptly escorted to the tallest, most agro elephant of the herd. Questionable start.... but I am done typing for now and will fill in the blanks later. We are currently back in KTM, and enjoying some wine and decent food.....stay tuned, Bat Fans!